“Nothing will ever be as great as the hula hoop and the pet rock,” says Amber Kahle, a Sophomore Biology major, about current fads on campus. As one looks around, it is difficult not to notice the lack of hair, the addition of pigment to one's own skin, and those blasted WWJD bracelets all over campus. Are these the new trends of ‘98 or just fun things to do until something better comes along?
Kahle admits to having a tattoo. “I don't think it's a fad. You have to be more serious because it's more permanent. If you want one, you'll get one regardless of who else has [one].” Tattoos seem to be spreading to The Swinging Bridge as well, where our Monkey of the Week for February 20th even had a tattoo. The fact that the tattoo looks a lot like Kahle's and Kahle is co-producer of Monkey of the Week along with Nikki Spriggle is mere coincidence. “There's no connection,” remarked Kahle.
When asked about shaving her head, Kahle said she wouldn't, but that hasn't stopped others from accelerating the balding process themselves. Even some women had the courage to see what going bald was like.
It's not easy trying to find the originator of this idea. Some think the lacrosse team is to blame. This year's Freshman guys were “encouraged” to shave their heads as a right of passage. “I don't mind it,” said Dann Gahres, a Freshman Biology major. “I've done it before. It'll grow back.”
Others think Heidi Shirk is the culprit. Shirk, a Junior Business Administration major, needed to raise money for Jubilee, so she participated in the Blank-A-Thon. Instead of doing the traditional jump in the creek and hope to re-cover from hypothermia before the conference, Shirk took a different approach by promising to shave her head.
Still, some just did it just to do it. Tim Chase remarked, “Shaving my head means less work. Hey, no need for shampoo.” A Junior Computer Science major, Chase admits to having 3/4 of a bottle left that he's not sure what to do with. Another Junior added that, “Bald heads are smoother on the lips.”
And of course, the bracelets. And T-shirts. And CDS. And... well, you get the idea. WWJD -- Who Wants Jack Daniels for the secular world. What Would Jesus Do for the rest of us. A Senior remarked that it's just, “commercialized Christianity.” Freshman Political Science major Keith Votes mentions, “the premise behind WWJD was a wonderful and inspirational idea; however, I worry that its just a fad and no one bothers to think of what they mean.”
“All this gear's cool, just as long as kids understand what they have strapped to their wrist,” says Clint Morton, a Senior International Business major. “I guess it's kinda like writing a phone number on your hand, except in this case if you forget to call home, you're damned in hell.”
“Entering Billboard's Top Albums chart with WWJD just goes to show that there is a real significance to this intense spiritual/cultural uprising,” says Eddie DeGarmo, VP of A&R at ForeFront Records. “We're so excited to be involved in this movement.”
“Yea, yea. He said movement,” replied Beavis. “Shut-up, Beavis,” his friend Butthead responds.
But Dana Marks, Freshman Political Sci-ence major, iced the cake saying, “Fads are dumb. Why anyone would want to follow them is beyond me. I mean, be your own person.” Maybe that'll be the next fad: Fads Are Dumb stickers for your backpack.
. . . And next time on the Kelly Burke Show: Messiah College students who tattoo WWJD into their shaved heads . . .